Okay, okay, I'll share. This is in no particular order. In fact, it may not even be ten things. Nor are they necessarily on the top. It's just notable stuff, most of which simply amuses me and perhaps you too!

1) Getting my parents' old digital camera: So they got a brand, spanking new camera to go with their two laptops, scanner, photoprinter, regular color printer, and cable modem -- none of which they know how to use -- and I got their old camera. It's sweet! It's not so great at taking nighttime shots, nor does it boast a hell of a lot of pixels, but the number of strangers I've stalked and snapped and who have, in most cases, looked like they were about to chase me down the street and offer me a can of whoopass is impressive! I shall keep it.

2) Moving to Ditmas Park, USA: Now I have restaurants in my neighborhood! And there's a natural food market war going on just outside my window! And the roaches who used to tuck me in at night are marching over the heads of some other punkass fool on Albemarle Road! Rock.

3) Finishing but not yet defending my dissertation proposal: One day you will all hear the dulcet tones of the Ace on NPR talking about fucking (often literally) slummers on the Lower East Side of Manhattan between 1880 and 1915. Just you wait!

4) Romantic (?) adventures: Something about Ditmas Park or girls with brown hair and glasses or reading the newspaper or poring over a Saul Bellow novel or a bit of the old Marxist theory seems to set the hearts and loins of young -- or not-so-young -- men afire. That's why I've collected several phone numbers in the past few months and even went on a date with a dude who asked me to be his "fuck friend!" (I declined.) But it's all made for some stories to tell someone else's grandchildren.

5) Many, though by no means all, 18-22 year olds: Most of you have heard me bitching about the college students I teach -- how entitled and egocentric they are, how shittily they write, how blase they are about education, how little empathy they seem to have, how badly behaved they can be. They deserve it completely. Kids these days, I tell you. But there have been several who've made me feel semi-secure about the future of the world and to them I offer praise. I won't tell you or them who they are, though. Hopefully, they'll make themselves known to you by being the cool people they are.

6) Engagements: Within two days of one another I got the jaw-dropping news that two of my closest lady-friends would be getting married within two months of each other. So many twos! And they're both marrying dashing, pulchritudinous, and witty young suitors. It's like a freaking Jane Austen novel. I couldn't be more excited -- plus, I get to be some sort of dude of honor in each of 'em, so more dress purchases for me!

7) Four different hairstyles in one year: From layered and professional, to cutesy and curly, to medium-lengthed and ratty, to its current short pixieish length, I have succeeded in making myself recognizable for no more than three months at a time. Quite an accomplishment. Call me Zelig.

8) My trip to Chicago in August: I met a lot of cool people, ate a lot of meat, and stared at the lake for a good long time -- the perfect itinerary for any trip to the Paris of the Midwest.




9) Some movies were pretty good: I especially liked the Joe Strummer documentary (why did I discover that The Clash was cool only after the age of 30?), Lars and the Real Girl (despite his stupid name, I think I would have a torrid affair with Ryan Gosling), Atonement (long chick flicks where British people die with their lover's names on their lips really get me in the gut), and No Country for Old Men (it made me long for revenge in the '80s). Plus, two druggie classics -- The Man with the Golden Arm and The Lost Weekend -- reminded me not to be a skid-row addict or drink too much rye.

10) Foodstuffs: Taking a class about cheese at Artisanal; eating a lot of Farm burgers at The Farm on Adderley; trying all of the arepas at Caracas Arepas; drinking an absinthe cocktail that destroyed me for two days; the Sicilian tuna sandwich at 'wichcraft; the scones at Paradis; the Greenmarkets; French radishes; being invited over for balls at Kate's and Jeff's; chowing on the sausage that Jesse ground, mixed, and grilled in his own kitchen; the lasagna at Christmas; the BBQ at Roger's and Keiko's; the re-opening of Second Avenue Deli; the new Eating and Drinking Guide; bacon.

Thanks for inviting me to post this year, dudes.